I just read the blog of a friend of mine. She and I go back a few years - we met at a deviantART meetup in Philadelphia and remained close ever since. She lives on the west coast now and she goes to Burning Man every year. I guess this is what she came back with, and in all honesty - she said things I have thought for so long. I think she's right on the money, and I felt compelled to share this with all of you. Aly is a beautiful person inside and out. I hope that she knows that. I'ma go tell her now.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
revelation from this year’s Burn
Aren't we tired of this?
As a collective race of beings, aren't we tired of fighting?
Fighting with ourselves, fighting with each other, fighting with other countries, other peoples, other ways of life? Haven't we gotten to the point where we say, "Enough already, this is ridiculous! Why do we need to tear ourselves down when all we simply want to do is live and be loved?"
And of course people mess up and clash. But why is forgiveness such a taboo concept? And not this dramatic-I'll-forgive-you-just-so-we-can-fight-again forgiveness, but real forgiveness? The kind where you realize who the person is and love them anyway, however you decide to show that love?
Aren't we tired of tearing down our family, just because they didn't grow up to be who we wanted them to be? Aren't we tired of being hyper-critical of others just to hide our own insecurities?
Aren't we tired of lying to each other just to gain sympathies? Why can't being who we are be good enough, no matter how small or strange we may think we are?
Aren't we tired of picking ourselves apart? Scrutinizing every little detail of ourselves, thinking life would've been easier if we were someone else?
Aren't we tired of trying to make everyone else like us? If we can't find common ground with someone, then we should just leave them alone. Isn't that part of the beauty of life anyway? Diversity? If everybody was the same, life would be boring.
I'm tired. I'm tired of being afraid of people. I'm tired of being picked apart for every little thing I say and do. I'm tired of waking up in the morning wanting to literally stab myself in the face because I feel like I'm a bad person. I'm tired of judging people for every little thing because putting people in a box and labeling them makes them "safe." I'm tired of fucking labels! Life is a surprise! Why ruin the fun by labeling it?!
I am guilty of lying and stealing. I am guilty of fighting with myself and others.
But I don't want to be that person anymore. I want my life to be fun and free, and even when it has to be sad and depressing, I want it to be that way for the right reasons, not for some self-invented, self-important, dramatic reason.
I want to look back at my life and see REAL LIVING happening in my memories. And I won't be able to do that if I hold on to all the things in my head that keep me trapped in my sorrows. And neither will you.
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